That there is no actual way to know what your "ideal" weight is or where your weight will fall when you start "doing everything right".
A lot of it has to do with your set-point: the (well-researched and supported!) theory that your body aims for a healthy, easily sustainable weight and that you have within you a complex and extremely precise physiological system that is constantly working to keep you at that weight.
If your weight goes up or down for any reason....your set point is like a thermostat that puts a series of events into motion (everything from altering appetite, to fat storage, to how food tastes to you!) that will bring you back to where your body wants you to be.
What's YOUR set point?
There is no formula for this but generally, it's the weight:
- you maintain when you listen to your body's hunger/full cues and attend to them
- you return to between diets
- you easily stay at when you aren't fixating on food/scales/excessive exercise.
So, I've talked about this before.
And women listen but I don't think they really HEAR this message.....until we're well into our work.
And then comes the inevitable: IT'S NOT FAIR!! and I'M STUCK IN THIS BODY FOREVER???
Because, the other piece of this puzzle is
we have no idea how to lower set point.
No diet or exercise plan or pill OR SURGERY has ever been proven to consistently lower set-point.
We DO, however, know how to RAISE your set-point:
diets, unhealthy eating patterns, restriction.....
i.e. EVERYTHING you've been taught to do to lose weight or "be healthy" is actually slowly nudging your set point up, up, UP.
And again, once it's up, we have no idea how to bring it down.
Cue: anger, tears, grief.
And rightfully so. It FUCKING SUCKS.
It sucks that most of us were raised in a weight hating, diet driven culture that encouraged us to do things that hurt us, and raised our weight, and made us feel like we were failing when it is
OUR CULTURE THAT IS FAILING
OUR MEDICAL SYSTEM THAT IS FAILING
OUR PUBLIC HEALTH SYSTEM THAT IS FAILING
But we're the ones left in bodies we don't recognize at the end of war we didn't even realize we were waging.
Guess what? There is another way to look at this.
YOU ARE FREE.
You can stop obsessing.
You never have to worry about dieting/manipulating your body via harmful, painful means ever again because your body is doing all the work for you.
You can decide today, RIGHT NOW, that you are no longer participating in the war.
Your body may not be what you hoped it would be, and it may not be entirely fair, but it is YOUR BODY, it's YOU. It's a visual history of your genetics and lifestyle choices, your thoughts and actions and travels and relationships....it's the sum total of the path that has brought you HERE.
And yes, it's not fair that you are maybe not benefiting from (very real!) size 2 THIN PRIVILEGE but my bet is you ARE benefiting from a whole lot of OTHER privileges that you haven't necessarily earned.......just because of where you were born, your genetics, random luck, etc. And life isn't all fair but I think it's helpful to put this into perspective because, overall, most of us have it pretty damn good.
Other unfair social privileges from which you may be benefiting:
Being wealthy (with respect to the rest of the world)
Having access to medical care & clean water
Not living in a war torn country
Having the freedom to speak your mind
Having all your limbs
(we all know that being white and straight still carries privilege, right? Despite it being RIDICULOUS).
The list goes on....
Life is GOOD, my friends. It may not be easy (I know!!!) but focusing on what we DO have, instead of what we don't (that cliche little thing called "gratitude") will change your life.
You have a perfectly imperfect body and all the freedom to live whatever kind of life you want to live. Accept it. Enjoy it. Be grateful for it. ALL of it.
Having trouble shifting focus? Book in with me for a free consult!
Note: when women start intuitive eating, if they have been consistently ignoring their body signals, over-eating and/or out of control eating, and treating themselves poorly, weight can and will go down. We just have no idea how much or when and there is no guarantee.